What to do in the Darkness by Marilyn Chandler McEntyre Go slowly Consent to it But don’t wallow in it Know it as a place of germination And growth Remember the light Take an outstretched hand if you find one Exercise unused senses Find the path by walking it Practice trust Watch for dawn
“Do not fight against pain; do not fight against irritation or jealousy. Embrace them with great tenderness, as though you were embracing a little baby. Your anger is yourself, and you should not be violent toward it. The same thing goes for all of your emotions.” Thich Nhat Hanh You Are Here
We are often so hard on ourselves when discovering our limitations. Thich Nhat Hanh invites us to accompany our breathing with the mantra, "Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out." Today I adapt it to, "Breathing in, I know that I am human. Breathing out, I accept that I am human." The invitation to embrace all of our emotions tenderly, even those that want to shame us, brings me back to a time of meditation in which I lost myself in remorse and shame while pondering past behaviors. The vulnerable child within me had long since introduced herself to me and I had taken first steps to welcome her back. But the embrace of her humanity still alluded me. In this meditation I felt a strong impulse moving me onto the floor before my little altar. Without thinking, without words, I gathered my knees to my chest and rocked and weeped in that fetal position until the words finally flowed, bringing profound healing, "Margaret, I love you so much. I don't want to be ashamed of you again. I treasure your vulnerability for all that it teaches me." Since that time, it's easier to accept my humanity. But when the shadows return, I become the woman nestled in the womb of the Crescent Moon, where I rock for a while to recover from the utter surprise that I am human! Breathing in, I know that I am human. Breathing out, I accept that I am human. May it be so.
I have been listening to Anderson Cooper’s 360 podcast this week. Reluctantly. I want in-depth coverage so I know where to direct my prayers, but I’ve been tempted to turn it off several times. As the reporters narrate, the background plays a steady, unrelenting stream of protesters shouting. The energy is too much for me to take in and I want to escape to the silence of my privileged white anchorage and chant “All shall be well.”
I keep listening because those protesters in Minneapolis and elsewhere around the US and the globe, deserve the respect of deep listening. Not listening and analyzing words; rather, a deep listening for feelings that describe experiences.This is the kind of listening that can bring a just peace. Hundreds of oppressed citizens have literally put their lives on the line to tell me they can endure no more. The least I can do is listen.
In his book Silence: The Power Of Quiet In A World Full Of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh tells of Avalokita, the Bodhisattva of Deep Listening. The name means “the one who listens deeply to the sounds of the world.” “Bodhisattva” refers to someone with great compassion who works tirelessly to mitigate the suffering of others. I, we, can be a Bodisattva of deep listening by willing ourselves to take in the energy of those who are crying out for justice. We can send back a sound of peace and healing. We can send back a commitment to act for a just peace.
May it be so.
Vignette 1: Jung Recounts the Story of the Golden Scarab Beetle
“A young woman I was treating had, at a critical moment, a dream in which she was given a golden scarab. While she was telling me this dream, I sat with my back to the closed window. Suddenly I heard a noise behind me, like a gentle tapping. I turned round and saw a flying insect knocking against the window-pane from the outside. I opened the window and caught the creature in the air as it flew in. It was the nearest analogy to a golden scarab one finds in our latitudes, a scarabaeid beetle, the common rose-chafer (Cetonia aurata), which, contrary to its usual habits had evidently felt the urge to get into a dark room at this particular moment. I must admit that nothing like it ever happened to me before or since.”
Synchronicity: Jung recounts the story of the Golden scarab beetle
Vignette 2: Rita’s Beetle
I have honored the place of synchronicity in my life for a very long time. Five years ago my explanation of Carl Jung’s theory was met with incomprehension by a spiritual companion, so I gave her the example of Jung’s scarab beetle at the window. When I finished the story my companion reached into her bag and pulled out a photo of a beetle which she had taken the day before. “And here is your beetle,” she said.
Vignette 3: Yesterday’s Synchronicity
I began my writing session as I always do, with an invocation to Spirit, a request to show me the greatest good for myself and my blogging community. I came upon Mary Oliver’s poem, “Prayer” about casting the ashes of a beloved one upon the wild foam of waves. An hour after publication I heard from a friend I had not heard from for a while; a friend who had just cast precious ashes upon waves.
And the only thing I did was pay attention. We are profoundly connected. Listen.
“He was pinned to himself to die,
a royal tern with a black crest blown back
as if he flew in his own private wind.”
Gracious Goodness by Marge Piercy
On the beach where we had been idly
telling the shell coins
cat’s paw, cross-barred Venus, china cockle,
we both saw at once the sea bird fall to the sand
and flap grotesquely.
He had taken a great barbed hook
out through the cheek and fixed
in the big wing.
He was pinned to himself to die,
a royal tern with a black crest blown back
as if he flew in his own private wind.
He felt good in my hands, not fragile
but muscular and glossy and strong,
the beak that could have split my hand
opening only to cry
as we yanked on the barbs.
We borrowed a clippers, cut and drew out the hook.
Then the royal tern took off, wavering,
lurched twice,
then acrobat returned to his element, dipped,
zoomed, and sailed out to dive for a fish.
Virtue: what a sunrise in the belly.
Why is there nothing
I have ever done with anybody
that seems to me so obviously right?
___________________________________________________
I offer this poem once again because it speaks to the place many of us find ourselves in today, “pinned to ourselves to die,” and waiting for some one, some event, to unpin us. I have added new lines to my meta prayer:
May we be content with our own best selves.
May we be open to receive the help that we need.
May we recover those who are pinned.
May it be so.
“Why is there nothing
I have ever done with anybody
that seems to me so obviously right?”
Photo Credit: Media Tweets by Teresa Fernandez (@TeresaF35309694) on Twitter
My candle batteries are still lasting. They’ve brought me light since Wednesday, but this morning I need more. So I curled up in the embrace of the two gigantic angels who always stand at my back, have my back. More than one person who has eyes to see such beings has pointed them out to me. At first I kept asking them for their names but they never told me, so I called them “Frick and Frack.” It stuck. So this poem is for them.
Respite
Standing at our backs,
Your expansive wings enfold
These unfledged humans
Who recoil from the miasma of hate
That now pollutes each breath we take
In this land of the once free.
Recoil or cower,
Which is it?
We shelter within stalwart wings waiting
For healing and spirit-washed air
To fill our lungs.
Then
We repair the breach.
c. Rita H Kowats 1-9-21
Photo Credit: https://www.jing.fm/idown/iimxihw_clipart-chromatic-angel-wings-within-angel-wings-clipart/
Find Life. Celebrate it.
Crow Wisdom
(An Irreverent Rumi-like Ramble)
The incontinent crow
Flying over my window
Bids adieu and screw you
To this year without cheer.
Crow wisdom:
Let go,
Let hope in,
Live.
2020/29/12
rita h kowats
My heart is with all of you who experience sorrow amidst the expectation of Christmas joy.
Spirituality Without Borders: Reflections on Spiritual Practice 