whew! The birth of this poem has released me. Heads up: It’s about facing death. Take care of yourself.
Death Not Imminent
I am not afraid of death
as much as I am
Reluctant
To begin the gut-wrenching
dismantling of my life…
I am not afraid of death
As much as I am
Irritated
by the numbing details
surrounding it.
Who helps decide when it’s time to go,
Who takes care of the penny pittance sitting in Chase,
Who takes my body to which crematorium?
One issue resolved,
Another emerges.
Death Not Imminent
But…
Walk with me,
Reluctance.
Take phone in hand,
(the one loaded with a covid response app)
and begin the journey toward
that sweet soul-space left behind
when the unclenching is done.
The space of abundant emptiness.
c.Rita H Kowats November 27, 2020
Spirituality Without Borders: Reflections on Spiritual Practice 
Powerful, gut-wrenching poem! You are courageous, Rita, to listen to these inner voices! May this release bring you freedom! Love, Paula
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Thanks, Rita, for putting your thoughts into this poetic form. I’ve also become more consciously aware that with Covid-19 all around. us, I could get it in spite of my best efforts to avoid it. So I’m doing things deliberately to get my life/files/etc. in order in case I would get sick and not have the energy or ability to tend to them later. While it’s not a new consciousness, it is a more imperative one. And it feels okay.
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Ahh. Solidarity. Thanks, Polly.
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Rita, the truth of this poem touches me deeply. So many lines that pop out for me. “Reluctant to begin the dismantling of my life.” Powerful!! Thank you for speaking to so many of us as we live in these uncertain times.
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Thank you for being brave enough to take on the poem, Ardine. I feel so much better having faced it.
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An honest reminder for me too! Thanks, Rita.
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