Accumulated Angst

Edvard Munch, The Scream (1910), from the collection of the Munch Museum, Oslo. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Someone living on my floor walks very heavily on the way down the hall to the recycle room across from my apartment. The footsteps are jarring because there is nothing to fear outside my door, yet I am unnerved by them. I even feel irritated every time I hear them. They put me on edge, as though pending danger waits on the other side. I sit on my chair and wait for the other shoe to drop. The fear surprises me because I am no longer a fearful person. It seems so silly, but…

Unconsciously I am hearing increased gunshots ringing out in many cities all over America. And the footfall keeps dropping. I hear reports of almost 4 million cases of covid. And the footfall keeps dropping. I see federal agents beat a silent, still protestor. And the footfall keeps dropping.

I am on the alert now, unaware before that I flinched with every heavy step I heard outside my door. Flinching fear is a safeguard for which I am grateful. But I don’t want it to wield power over me, influencing my life in unexpected and unconscious ways; so I bring it here into the light.

Spiritual Practice For Releasing Fear

Breathing in,   I rest in my courage.
Breathing out, I release fear.

Breathing in,   I rest in my power.
Breathing out, I release fear.

Let us pray

May we be content with our own best selves.
May we manage our discontent peacefully.

Amen. May it be so.